What I Learned Spending a Week With Super Soul Sunday & TED Talk Alum

Somehow, I managed to spend nearly an entire week in the same room with some of the most revered minds in personal development. I was literally feet (if not inches) away from influential writers and speakers like Deepak Chopra, Brené Brown, Shawn Achor, and Simon Sinek. PINCH ME. IS THIS MY REAL LIFE RIGHT NOW??? Yes, I’m happy to say it is. Each of these awesome human beings has either A) Been interviewed by Oprah or B) Had a wildly successful TED Talk, or C) both (in addition to their crazy speaking and writing careers). They have each made tremendous contributions with their work, so you better believe I absorbed every ounce of what they said like a little sponge and took pages of notes.

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Are We Afraid of Bliss & Joy in Relationships?

While reading this weekend, I found a really interesting perspective on what I would call the “spark” in a romantic relationship; the rare, but awesome chemistry you feel when you’re both attracted to someone physically and stimulated by them intellectually. For me, the spark is a reason to be excited and curious; it's a sign of connection. For some though, the spark - while still exciting - is a reason to remember past wounds and be skeptical.

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How To Honor Others' Paths

I had a conversation with a friend recently about someone she knew in high school. After describing him and how he’d taken on a “too big for his britches” attitude, she said, “I’m really proud to say that I’m the same person I was in high school.” Although I understood the heart of her message, I clung momentarily to the initial shock of the statement. She looked at me for affirmation, but I was frozen. My mind flipped through an imaginary list of all of the ways I was drastically different than the person I was in high school. My head spun as I counted all of the lessons I’d learned - typically through necessary struggle - since I was in my late teens and early twenties. Heck, even since I turned 30. I came back to the room, barely able to find my words. I wanted to say, “I couldn’t be more of a different person than I was in high school.” It was true. But, through some great blessing, I found something more appropriate for the moment.

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Work, Money & the Ego

Yesterday, I posted about living on purpose, a concept I know many of of us struggle with. Through my own journey of personal growth; it’s a topic I’ve become tremendously passionate about. But passion and learning have not omitted me from struggling with the concept. It’s easy to become distracted or discouraged. Shiny opportunities show up and I’m tempted to detour, things don’t work out as quickly or as cleanly as I’d like, other’s opinions and judgements make me feel discouraged or question my path and capabilities. This uncertainty is all the work of the ego - the loud, opinionated, fearful part of the mind that would convince us it’s necessary to follow the path of fear and struggle. Recently, I’ve been presented with multiple opportunities for growth when it comes to work and money. While some are easy to interpret and figure out, others are challenging to the ego and require a lot of reflection and contemplation.

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A Reminder To Live On Purpose

Over the past few years, I've undergone a very intentional journey of personal growth. I've being guided to a new city and a different job. I made the decision to step away from several life distractions that are considered socially acceptable (if not required). I've been reminded to be patient with situations and people when I most want to intervene and resolve. I've spent a lot (A LOT) of very vulnerable time learning about myself. I've consumed more books, lectures, and podcasts than I'd thought possible. As a result, I've become a more confident, resilient, bright, and happy version of myself. 

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How to Heal Negative Energy in Relationships

How to Heal Negative Energy in Relationships

Hopefully this is no surprise to you, but our bodies are full of energy. Whether you’re familiar with chi, chakras, auras, meridians, or some other “life force” energy; the common consensus is that this energy flows through all beings in order to maintain health and wellness in mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual capacities.

Just as we have our own energy, we exchange energy with one another when we engage in relationships.

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We Teach Best What We Most Need to Learn

Over the last few weeks, I’ve written about self-worth, growth, perseverance, judgement, and forgiveness. Really, when I sit down to write, I take an inventory of where I’m currently feeling challenged, what I’ve learned recently, or what I’m curious to explore more deeply. As a writer, I play the mixed role of both student and teacher. As student, I write to unpack a situation, an experience, an encounter, a feeling, or a relationship with the goal of growing and understanding something about myself. As a teacher, I write sometimes to provide specific advice or steps, but often to simply serve as a mirror through which others can see themselves; their own story, experiences, or struggle.

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How I'm Doing Life Differently Than I'd Thought

I paused to take note this morning as I listened to a podcast interview with Dr. Jon Mundy as he spoke about applying the principles of A Course in Miracles to everyday life (for those unfamiliar, ACIM is a metaphysical text that teaches us to break down old thought systems based on fear, lack, struggle, and separation; and accept a thought system based on love, abundance, ease, and oneness). Dr. Mundy shared that (in his experience) most people don’t come to the realization that there might be a better way for living life until they are in their 40s. He suggested that the years before are often spent hustling to meet outer expectations placed on us by our rational minds (and society).

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Three Common Reactions to Judgment

Judgment is all around us. We silently evaluate and judge others for what they say, what they do, how they look. We make assumptions and project personal fears and beliefs onto people and situations. We compare ourselves, deeming our situations and decisions as better or worse than another’s. We judge ourselves, creating beliefs about who we are and expectations about who we should be.

Recently, I wrote about an interaction with a friend that left me feeling judged and hurt. I also shared that I chose to forgive my friend rather than being angry and to forgive myself rather than taking on the judgment as a reality about myself.

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Just Watch Me

I originally titled this post “F*ck You, Just Watch Me,” but I decided it was a little crass and not aligned with the high vibes I like to send out. But, in all honesty, it’s pretty accurate to how I was feeling when I first started this post after recovering from a completely awful “it’s not you, it’s me...but actually it’s you” conversation where I took on some heavy shit that didn’t belong to me. I left the conversation feeling judged, broken and angry.

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Habits We Use to Avoid Healing and Growth

All healing occurs first at the level of the mind. Our mind is the vantage point from which we interpret life and create our own meaning. In order to heal the mind, we must first be able to access it, a task which is easier said than done. 

The problem is, we actively fill our lives with habits that help us avoid paying attention to the thoughts and feelings which rest in our minds. These mindless activities serve as a distraction to our ability to connect with our inner-self. Through my own pursuit for happiness and connection to higher consciousness, I’ve become more and more aware of the seemingly minor things we all do to avoid being mindful. While this is by no means a comprehensive list, these are the major areas I have become aware in my own life:

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You Are Enough

“You are important for who you are; not what you do, how much money you make, or what title you have;” the words rolled off my tongue effortlessly and honestly as I spoke with a friend on the phone this week. I truly meant it, but sat in slight shock after hanging up the phone reflecting on how many times this lesson had appeared for me this week. The irony in this moment being that I had gone from student to teacher. It's pretty wild and beautiful, really. 

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Be Willing

The last couple of months have been a little bit of a roller coaster. I’ve had awesome opportunities for growth come my way professionally, personally, financially, romantically, spiritually - you name it. Although there are always lessons to be learned, those that have been presented to me in the past few months have been particularly amazing and synchronistic. I’ve embraced each one as a powerful opportunity for growth. Yet, these past few months have been some of the most challenging I’ve faced. I’ve been challenged to think differently when I craved the comfort of familiarity; to speak my truth when silence would have been easier; to make myself vulnerable when I desperately feared pain; to be curious when I most wanted to retreat; to be forgiving when many would choose anger; to be patient when I yearned to intervene; to see possibility when I am being presented with problems.

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Single and Self-Aware

How Looking Within Drastically Changes the Dating Game

They say one of the first steps to finding love is to first know and love yourself. I completely agree: Successful relationships are not born out of two people trying to complete themselves or find the love they lack in another. However, as a single lady who has done a lot of work on the self-love and personal growth fronts; I can attest that increasing your self-awareness and emotional intelligence actually adds a new and unexpected challenge to the already complex world of dating. While being self-aware and growth-minded is absolutely a positive attribute, here are a few of the unique challenges you might face out on the modern dating scene:

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Embracing the Power to Let Go and Choose Again

It’s the eve of my thirty-second birthday; a perfect time to sit and reflect about how I’ve grown not only in this past year, but in the last thirty-two years as a whole. I hope I say this every year at this time - I never thought I’d be where I am right now. I’m filled with so much gratitude for the lessons and growth life has brought me. There is really a lot to be excited about, yet I am overcome with a sense of peace...a sense that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Every triumph, every tear, every sad day, every hard conversation, every beautiful experience...they’ve all led up to this moment. I’ve worked hard to have these moments of serenity and clarity (though they are sometimes fleeting amidst a world of chaos and distraction), but when they come, I embrace them fully.

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The Relationship Manifesto that Got Me Thinking

I sat down to write this evening pretty certain about the topic I was going to riff on. I sat with my fingers perfectly positioned on the keyboard, but the words weren’t coming. So, I took a break...which is when I saw this Jay Shetty performance piece based on an article by Krysti Wilkinson called We Are the Generation That Doesn’t Want Relationships. I’m almost certain I’ve seen the video before, but I watch it again anyway. The performance is catchy, the words are eerily accurate

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All the Little Things I'm Doing to Love Myself This Month

This week, I’ve sat down several times to write about relationships, self-love, romantic love...all the little topics that you see scrolling through your newsfeed during the month of February. Truthfully, I have so many thoughts on these topics that I want to share (stay tuned) that I barely knew where to start. I wanted to write about the beauty of being single, the struggle dating as a self-aware person, turning fear into love, releasing romantic illusions, transforming relationships, self-love (SO MUCH SELF LOVE), holding space for others, finding romance in your everyday life, how romantic partners can be our best teachers, how we misuse relationships...my list goes on an on.

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Advice, Opinions, and your Inner Guide

A while back, I wrote a post about my frustrations with friends giving unsolicited advice. The trouble is, I realized recently that it’s not uncommon for us to solicit - even poll our friends for - advice on topics where we should really be turning to our inner guide. Oddly enough, solicited advice can be just as frustrating or confusing as receiving advice that you never asked for in the first place.

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The Simple (Yet Powerful) Act of Showing Up

At one point in my late 20s, I was part of a group of young professionals being recognized by a local lifestyle magazine. As part of the recognition, there was a social get together for all of the honorees, their friends, family, and colleagues. I was honored that several of the members of the executive team from our company attended the event, including the company CEO. While I consider him one of my mentors, he was also a pretty prominent member of the business community and a fairly high-demand guy. It meant so much to me that he would even attend my little event. I left that night feeling truly appreciated. It wasn’t until weeks later, when I was visiting with a friend who was also honored at the event, that I was able to fully soak in the power of someone showing up.

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