How to Heal Negative Energy in Relationships

How to Heal Negative Energy in Relationships

Hopefully this is no surprise to you, but our bodies are full of energy. Whether you’re familiar with chi, chakras, auras, meridians, or some other “life force” energy; the common consensus is that this energy flows through all beings in order to maintain health and wellness in mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual capacities.

Just as we have our own energy, we exchange energy with one another when we engage in relationships.

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We Teach Best What We Most Need to Learn

Over the last few weeks, I’ve written about self-worth, growth, perseverance, judgement, and forgiveness. Really, when I sit down to write, I take an inventory of where I’m currently feeling challenged, what I’ve learned recently, or what I’m curious to explore more deeply. As a writer, I play the mixed role of both student and teacher. As student, I write to unpack a situation, an experience, an encounter, a feeling, or a relationship with the goal of growing and understanding something about myself. As a teacher, I write sometimes to provide specific advice or steps, but often to simply serve as a mirror through which others can see themselves; their own story, experiences, or struggle.

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How I'm Doing Life Differently Than I'd Thought

I paused to take note this morning as I listened to a podcast interview with Dr. Jon Mundy as he spoke about applying the principles of A Course in Miracles to everyday life (for those unfamiliar, ACIM is a metaphysical text that teaches us to break down old thought systems based on fear, lack, struggle, and separation; and accept a thought system based on love, abundance, ease, and oneness). Dr. Mundy shared that (in his experience) most people don’t come to the realization that there might be a better way for living life until they are in their 40s. He suggested that the years before are often spent hustling to meet outer expectations placed on us by our rational minds (and society).

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Three Common Reactions to Judgment

Judgment is all around us. We silently evaluate and judge others for what they say, what they do, how they look. We make assumptions and project personal fears and beliefs onto people and situations. We compare ourselves, deeming our situations and decisions as better or worse than another’s. We judge ourselves, creating beliefs about who we are and expectations about who we should be.

Recently, I wrote about an interaction with a friend that left me feeling judged and hurt. I also shared that I chose to forgive my friend rather than being angry and to forgive myself rather than taking on the judgment as a reality about myself.

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Just Watch Me

I originally titled this post “F*ck You, Just Watch Me,” but I decided it was a little crass and not aligned with the high vibes I like to send out. But, in all honesty, it’s pretty accurate to how I was feeling when I first started this post after recovering from a completely awful “it’s not you, it’s me...but actually it’s you” conversation where I took on some heavy shit that didn’t belong to me. I left the conversation feeling judged, broken and angry.

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Habits We Use to Avoid Healing and Growth

All healing occurs first at the level of the mind. Our mind is the vantage point from which we interpret life and create our own meaning. In order to heal the mind, we must first be able to access it, a task which is easier said than done. 

The problem is, we actively fill our lives with habits that help us avoid paying attention to the thoughts and feelings which rest in our minds. These mindless activities serve as a distraction to our ability to connect with our inner-self. Through my own pursuit for happiness and connection to higher consciousness, I’ve become more and more aware of the seemingly minor things we all do to avoid being mindful. While this is by no means a comprehensive list, these are the major areas I have become aware in my own life:

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Be Willing

The last couple of months have been a little bit of a roller coaster. I’ve had awesome opportunities for growth come my way professionally, personally, financially, romantically, spiritually - you name it. Although there are always lessons to be learned, those that have been presented to me in the past few months have been particularly amazing and synchronistic. I’ve embraced each one as a powerful opportunity for growth. Yet, these past few months have been some of the most challenging I’ve faced. I’ve been challenged to think differently when I craved the comfort of familiarity; to speak my truth when silence would have been easier; to make myself vulnerable when I desperately feared pain; to be curious when I most wanted to retreat; to be forgiving when many would choose anger; to be patient when I yearned to intervene; to see possibility when I am being presented with problems.

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Embracing the Power to Let Go and Choose Again

It’s the eve of my thirty-second birthday; a perfect time to sit and reflect about how I’ve grown not only in this past year, but in the last thirty-two years as a whole. I hope I say this every year at this time - I never thought I’d be where I am right now. I’m filled with so much gratitude for the lessons and growth life has brought me. There is really a lot to be excited about, yet I am overcome with a sense of peace...a sense that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Every triumph, every tear, every sad day, every hard conversation, every beautiful experience...they’ve all led up to this moment. I’ve worked hard to have these moments of serenity and clarity (though they are sometimes fleeting amidst a world of chaos and distraction), but when they come, I embrace them fully.

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The Relationship Manifesto that Got Me Thinking

I sat down to write this evening pretty certain about the topic I was going to riff on. I sat with my fingers perfectly positioned on the keyboard, but the words weren’t coming. So, I took a break...which is when I saw this Jay Shetty performance piece based on an article by Krysti Wilkinson called We Are the Generation That Doesn’t Want Relationships. I’m almost certain I’ve seen the video before, but I watch it again anyway. The performance is catchy, the words are eerily accurate

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Quotes from my 2018 Writing Retreat

Earlier in the week, I shared how hanging with my ladies writing group has brought me personal fulfillment and growth. At our recent retreat, a weekend event we’ve enjoyed for the last two years, we each produced writing on various personal growth and spiritual development topics. I am always learning from these ladies...and I know they’re learning from me too.

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How we Let our Fears Limit Us

I woke up several times last night with something weighing heavy on my heart. Fear. Not my personal fear, necessarily, but the fear we all experience subconsciously. Fear that we avoid at all costs. I'm not talking about the fear of heights or small spaces. No, I'm talking about the fear that creeps in when we aren't paying attention. The fear which limits us and holds us back from having the things that will ultimately bring us joy. What I’ve learned recently is that it goes back to an interesting concept called “Upper Limit Problems.” 

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Why Hanging Out With Wiser Women Has Been Good for My Soul

Nearly two years ago, I apprehensively joined a women’s writing group. The group, actually part of a faith-based ministry, was meant to be an outlet for women to explore soul-conscious topics together. I was invited by a friend and mentor who knew my love for writing and deep thinking; and also knew it wasn’t being fulfilled. At first, I was the youngest member by nearly two decades, the eldest member being 45 years my senior. I feared we might have little in common. I wondered if they would take me seriously, that I would have trouble being vulnerable and writing from my heart. The truth is, I've always been an old soul, so the Universe could not have brought me into a better group of wise, caring women.

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How A Year Without Booze Helped Me Live A More Meaningful & Fulfilling Life

How A Year Without Booze Helped Me Live A More Meaningful & Fulfilling Life

Today is the day - my 365th consecutive day without a single drop of alcohol. No cheat days, no “tastes,” nothing. I’ve written a lot about being sober. A LOT. In fact, if you’ve milled around my blog much, you’d probably think that it was a blog about sobriety, or being in recovery, but it’s not. When I started this blog, the intention was to share my own path to finding a more meaningful life - a life where I felt deeply connected to myself, spirit, and those around me; a life where I allow myself to shine and encourage others to do the same.

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The One Reminder you Need to Help Process Fear-Based Thinking in Others

For the longest time, I lived with a fear- or lack-based mentality. There was never enough to go around - be it money, jobs, love/romance, opportunity, etc.. When I lived in that mentality, it became my reality. I’d attract or anticipate lack or disappointment in every area of my life, always waiting for the worst possible outcome to surface - often, I’d attract just that.

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What Didn't Serve Me in 2017

In my last post, I wrote about several things I accomplished in 2017 that made me feel like a real badass. While that feeling runs pretty strong, the are - of course - some things I did in 2017 that did not serve me (mostly old habits, etc.). They say one of the best ways to focus on what you want - or what you want to let go of, for that matter - is to write it down. So let’s get to it, here are the things that did not serve me in 2017:

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Things I Did in 2017 that Made Me Feel Like a Badass

2017 was a year of personal growth and awesomeness for me. This week, I sat down - as many of us do nearing the end of the year - to reflect. While I’ve had some unexpected curve balls that made me doubt myself, I looked back at everything I’ve written, the places I’ve traveled, the relationships I’ve grown, and - most importantly - the work I’ve done personally. I couldn’t help but look myself in the mirror, in all seriousness, and say, “I’m a badass.”

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How to React when You're Feeling Disappointed

Four Principles to Guide you From Judgement & Anger to Forgiveness & Peace

Sometimes, people disappoint you. A friend, a family member, a lover, a co-worker, even a near stranger. Disappointment occurs when we project our own desires and expectations onto others rather than accepting them where they are. The reality is, we disappoint others just as they disappoint us, but this fact doesn’t make it easier when someone fails to meet our expectations.

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What to do When You’re Freaking the Eff Out

5 Simple, Non-Traditional, Ways to Get it Together When it Seems Like Things are Falling Apart

+ Four Practices to Avoid

It doesn’t matter how often you meditate, how frequently you practice self-reflection, how many self-help resources you consume, how “together” you may have it in your personal life or career - you are allowed to freak the eff out from time-to-time.

These freak outs can come from a variety of places: chaos of the holidays, work, relationships, whatever. The general onset of a freak out is a disruption to our own plan that sets us into mental overload, regressive thinking, and general impatience. We tend to freak out when things don’t go “our way” (more tips for managing these situations here) or when there’s some sort of big-picture uncertainty in play. So, what are some steps we can take to bring ourselves back to center when we’re freaking the eff out?

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Affirmations for Improving Wellness in Every Area of your Life

Being “well” isn’t just about being healthy physically or mentally. Complete holistic wellness involves focusing on multiple facets of our overall wellness - financial, professional, physical & nutritional, intellectual, interpersonal, and emotional - in life. Often, we become hyper-focused on one area, leaving one or many of the other areas lingering.

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5 Surprising Things I Did Sober in 2017...And the Lessons I Learned

I once lived life thinking there were situations -  like vacations, weddings, or concerts - you couldn’t possibly tolerate (or want to attempt) sober. I once believed that doing any of these things, by choice, without drinking would be nothing short of torture. However, I’m living proof that it is possible. You see, I’m a former party girl who - somewhat by accident - ended up spending an entire year sober. I didn’t hit a rock bottom or have a doctor’s order, I simply came to the realization that my life revolved - a little too much - around drinking, and that didn’t feel right. So, on a mission to find a different meaning in life, I made the decision to quit drinking for an entire year, but to go on living my life as seamlessly as possible.

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