Why Saying "No" To Others Is Really Saying "Yes" To Ourselves

Why Saying "No" To Others Is Really Saying "Yes" To Ourselves

My name is Amanda and I am a recovering people pleaser“yes” person, and be everywhere / do everything gal. Saying “no” makes me feel kind of uncomfortable. Case in point: I recently made the conscious choice to say “no” to a seemingly simple request. Saying “yes” would have been the easy, people-pleaser thing to do, but I’ve been working really hard to become protective of my time and, based on my own criteria, the request was a “no”.

Since I’m (always) being honest, I’ll admit that I didn’t handle the “no” very gracefully...I felt compelled to explain myself and when the other person wouldn’t take “no” for an answer... I snapped (eek). Losing my cool is a sure sign that I have some reflection to do (I know, I know; we’re all human, but I am human who has gotten freaking good at self-reflection and unpacking things that disrupt my good vibes).

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Four Steps to Finding Peace When Someone is Testing Your Patience

Four Steps to Finding Peace When Someone is Testing Your Patience

I had a conversation with an acquaintance this past week that really tried my patience. While my relationship with this individual had been wearing on me for some time, our interactions of late - while less frequent - had really taken a lot out of me. So, this week, when I most felt the desire to react from an unloving, ego-driven, place; I took it as a sign to take pause and call upon the tools I’d been diligently adding to my toolkit over the past few years…I took the opportunity to practice these four steps to find peace when someone is testing your patience

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Four Relationship Truths Everyone Can Learn From

Four Relationship Truths Everyone Can Learn From

I found myself holding space recently for a friend who was going through a confusing time in a romantic relationship which she felt might be coming to an end. I felt deep compassion for her because I’d been where she was; sitting in a gray area of uncertainty and anxiety…

What I wished for my friend (and what I wish for anyone going through a similar situation) is that she would come to know these four important truths about relationships:

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A Modern Girls Guide to Appreciating Singleness

A Modern Girls Guide to Appreciating Singleness

How to make the most of the single life & prepare yourself for the relationship you want. 

I can attest that as I've become more intentional with how I spend my time as a single gal, I've become more understanding and aware of why this time exists. To say I'm grateful would be an understatement. My singleness has provided me with tremendous opportunities for personal growth; I've accepted them all as graciously as possible. I know, with certainty that this time has made me a stronger individual and prepared me to be more present in all areas of life; especially to be a better partner. As a result, I know I have a lot to give and will add value to all relationships - romantic or not - and I seek for the same in others.

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Are We Afraid of Bliss & Joy in Relationships?

While reading this weekend, I found a really interesting perspective on what I would call the “spark” in a romantic relationship; the rare, but awesome chemistry you feel when you’re both attracted to someone physically and stimulated by them intellectually. For me, the spark is a reason to be excited and curious; it's a sign of connection. For some though, the spark - while still exciting - is a reason to remember past wounds and be skeptical.

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How To Honor Others' Paths

I had a conversation with a friend recently about someone she knew in high school. After describing him and how he’d taken on a “too big for his britches” attitude, she said, “I’m really proud to say that I’m the same person I was in high school.” Although I understood the heart of her message, I clung momentarily to the initial shock of the statement. She looked at me for affirmation, but I was frozen. My mind flipped through an imaginary list of all of the ways I was drastically different than the person I was in high school. My head spun as I counted all of the lessons I’d learned - typically through necessary struggle - since I was in my late teens and early twenties. Heck, even since I turned 30. I came back to the room, barely able to find my words. I wanted to say, “I couldn’t be more of a different person than I was in high school.” It was true. But, through some great blessing, I found something more appropriate for the moment.

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How to Heal Negative Energy in Relationships

How to Heal Negative Energy in Relationships

Hopefully this is no surprise to you, but our bodies are full of energy. Whether you’re familiar with chi, chakras, auras, meridians, or some other “life force” energy; the common consensus is that this energy flows through all beings in order to maintain health and wellness in mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual capacities.

Just as we have our own energy, we exchange energy with one another when we engage in relationships.

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Just Watch Me

I originally titled this post “F*ck You, Just Watch Me,” but I decided it was a little crass and not aligned with the high vibes I like to send out. But, in all honesty, it’s pretty accurate to how I was feeling when I first started this post after recovering from a completely awful “it’s not you, it’s me...but actually it’s you” conversation where I took on some heavy shit that didn’t belong to me. I left the conversation feeling judged, broken and angry.

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Single and Self-Aware

How Looking Within Drastically Changes the Dating Game

They say one of the first steps to finding love is to first know and love yourself. I completely agree: Successful relationships are not born out of two people trying to complete themselves or find the love they lack in another. However, as a single lady who has done a lot of work on the self-love and personal growth fronts; I can attest that increasing your self-awareness and emotional intelligence actually adds a new and unexpected challenge to the already complex world of dating. While being self-aware and growth-minded is absolutely a positive attribute, here are a few of the unique challenges you might face out on the modern dating scene:

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The Relationship Manifesto that Got Me Thinking

I sat down to write this evening pretty certain about the topic I was going to riff on. I sat with my fingers perfectly positioned on the keyboard, but the words weren’t coming. So, I took a break...which is when I saw this Jay Shetty performance piece based on an article by Krysti Wilkinson called We Are the Generation That Doesn’t Want Relationships. I’m almost certain I’ve seen the video before, but I watch it again anyway. The performance is catchy, the words are eerily accurate

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What Didn't Serve Me in 2017

In my last post, I wrote about several things I accomplished in 2017 that made me feel like a real badass. While that feeling runs pretty strong, the are - of course - some things I did in 2017 that did not serve me (mostly old habits, etc.). They say one of the best ways to focus on what you want - or what you want to let go of, for that matter - is to write it down. So let’s get to it, here are the things that did not serve me in 2017:

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Things I Did in 2017 that Made Me Feel Like a Badass

2017 was a year of personal growth and awesomeness for me. This week, I sat down - as many of us do nearing the end of the year - to reflect. While I’ve had some unexpected curve balls that made me doubt myself, I looked back at everything I’ve written, the places I’ve traveled, the relationships I’ve grown, and - most importantly - the work I’ve done personally. I couldn’t help but look myself in the mirror, in all seriousness, and say, “I’m a badass.”

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How to React when You're Feeling Disappointed

Four Principles to Guide you From Judgement & Anger to Forgiveness & Peace

Sometimes, people disappoint you. A friend, a family member, a lover, a co-worker, even a near stranger. Disappointment occurs when we project our own desires and expectations onto others rather than accepting them where they are. The reality is, we disappoint others just as they disappoint us, but this fact doesn’t make it easier when someone fails to meet our expectations.

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